Today marks the first time I can say it’s less than 3 weeks until we go home. Our future plans have stopped being things that will happen in America and started being things that will happen in the UK. We bought tickets to a Paul Heaton show in Sheffield this July. I made plans to see a few old friends in April and May. I told my mum I’d take her into York for Mother’s Day. It all feels odd – almost surreal – but also really exciting.
I’ve been waiting for the fear to hit – waiting to suddenly wake up in the middle of the night wondering what in God’s name we’re doing. After all, our lives have been pretty routine for quite a few years now. We’ve made big moves before, but not for a long time. And in just 21 days, our entire lives will be packaged up and en route to England – the furniture in a container waiting to be loaded onto a ship, the computers on Fed-Ex flights, and the cats with us on a plane to Manchester. And when we get back, all we’ll have are a few suitcases for the first 6 weeks.
It should be terrifying, and I suppose that still might hit me, but for now I’m just excited for us (and worried for the cats. I know that seems nuts to anyone who doesn’t have pets and I know there are much bigger worries in the world than cats, but I can’t help it. I’m worried about them flying).
I keep trying to picture what our lives will be like, but it’s a big blank. And I think it’s that blank that is the most exciting thing about this move. Yes, it’s exciting to think about seeing friends and family and settling into a new home and taking sightseeing trips, but really I think that’s all part of a bigger change. For the first time in a very long time, we won’t have routines. We won’t be doing things because that’s what we always do. We’ll make new routines of course, but they’ll take time. At first we’ll be learning again, having new experiences, seeing new things and, above all, building a new way of life.
I suppose there’s nothing that says you can’t shake up your life right where you are. Why do you have to move 3,000 miles to do it? That makes total sense and yet it’s not how most of us live. Something major has to change before we change. For Phil and I, this move is the something major. In 20 days, we start again. I can’t wait to see how it turns out!