Phil and I were talking last night about the different ways we are approaching this move. For me, thoughts of the future are constantly swirling around my head. If I had my way, I’d be packed and ready to go by now. It’s not that I hate it here – far from it. Nor do I think things will be wine and roses at the other end. It’s just that my nature is to make a decision and then do it. Waiting around just knots my stomach up. I think about all the things that could happen to stop us actually doing what we’ve decided to do, and figure it’s best just to get on with it before any of them happen.
But Phil likes to work his way into things slowly. He finds it less stressful. He also said last night that he wants to make sure we enjoy the present as well as looking forward to the future. Which I totally understand and I know he’s right. (But it would be much easier for me to enjoy the present if we just left already and got on with the new life!)
When I was a kid, we’d go on caravan holidays and in later years we always took a little TV. It had an arial (that’s antenna for the Americans) on the top for reception (no cable or satellites back then – especially not in the middle of a farmer’s field!) On our last day, my dad would always get up, have his breakfast and then take the arial down and pack it away ready for our journey home. This was a source of great frustration for Neil and I because we might want to watch something before we left. And it drove mum nuts because she wanted to enjoy the whole day and not think about going home until the evening came. Dad’s tendency to start acting once a decision had been made came to be known in our house as “taking the arial down.”
When dad dismantled that little bit of metal, he didn’t think he was spoiling the day for anyone else. He was just getting on with things. But I have to try and keep in mind that, as far as Phil’s concerned, I’m taking the arial down before he’s ready to go home. And that taking it down won’t get me home any faster – it will just cause more stress for him. And hey, you never know, if I leave it up there might be something good on.